Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Found Inside a Clutching Fist


"I am bored" she said, with stress on each word that clearly showed that she was bored.

"That is because you don't engage yourself. You just sit and think and do nothing else. Anyone will be bored in this case". He was buttoning his shirt. She maintained a lying posture in the bed and kept looking at him.She watched his fingers carefully at his fingers that moved so fast. ' Who must have invented the buttons?' She thought.

"Do one thing... try applying for some job. Then you wont be bored" His hands now busy tucking the shirt. "But i 'll get bored with the job very soon....like last time.. I want to do something very interesting..." 

"Interesting like?" He looked straight into her eyes. Their eyes met. Like seven years back when they fell in love with each other. The courtship lasted for seven years and now they are husband and wife like a fairy tale.

"I don't know. I think I should learn music, singing or just play some instrument."

He couldn't control but laugh hysterically.

"Anu...are you nuts? Do you know how you sing? want to scare others?"

"But you said I sing well. Remember the last time when i sang in the bathroom, you said its really good".

"Ayyo...I was just kidding. You took it serious? OK.... let me make it clear......" He finished dressing up and sat next to her. " Anu...your singing is good...but only I 'll like it. Tats cos I love you...But others...spare them dear!"

"OK...." she managed to fight back tears. It was hurting to know the bitter truth.She had all plans to join music class. She even managed to find a tutor's details.

"Baby...see don't cry... think about something else...like...hmmm...Yoga... I think tat will be good for you".

"Do you think so?" slight excitement rose in her voice. Yes, Yoga will be good. Its been heard that its good for health and mind.

"But do you think I can meditate properly? I mean... I am poor in concentrating and all..."

He was losing his patience. It was already getting late for office. " That and all they will teach you. Just try..Do one thing...browse the net and find out more about it. OK" He rose up. Now there is no time for sweet talk.

"OK...I am leaving now.. will discuss about this in the eve...what say?"

She was still lying in the bed. Gaze was fixed on a calendar which had the pictures of desert animals in it.' Doesn't the camel sweat?' she thought. He left. She was still lying there.

Her eyes moved around the ceiling fan. She had an urge to sit on the leaves of the fan and rotate...like in merry-go-round..... swing...swing....

Then again she felt bored in that too.She pictured herself doing Yoga. Taking deep breaths.... relaxing the mind.......An interest rose in her. She switched on the computer. 

Quickly searched for 'Yoga'.A lot of results came. She took the patience to read one by one.

Now, one thing was clear. This yoga is a great to practice. But the results are long term. No short term goals. That is not something very interesting. For more expert opinion she picked up the phone and dialed...9886297107....

"Hello Swathi... Listen...I want to know if Yoga will be an interesting thing to do!" she said in one stretch.

"Hi di...what happened to you? Suddenly why Yoga and all?" Swathi was really confused about the sudden out burst.

"Just like that... I am bored...so thought I'll do something interesting".

"But I think Yoga is good for old chaps. OK... why don't you try gardening? Tat is good" swathi sounded very busy. She has reason to be.She was working in a bank which had branches in every nook and corner.

"OK... what type for gardening?" She was confused. Plants will be a good time pass.

"Anu...I ll cal you in the evening and tell you the details. Now I am a bit busy...ok...dont mind di..." The line was already cut before she could say bye.

Gardening...hm mm... good idea...But she never had any interest in that through out her life. Plants and flowers are good at flower shows and gardens.The idea was immediately dropped. She felt like crying. Boredom is something that brings the hell out of us. She has tried cooking and came out with utter failure. Tried all variety of cuisines and wasted material and patience.now she find it more than enough to cook basic meals for both of them.

She stared into the TV surfing channels. She couldn't fix her mind into anything. The time was limping in front of her. The clock mocked her. She never knew that this was so dreadful. A pile of books put out their tongue and teased her. She was not able to read them. Two or three pages and she will be bored with that too.Nothing could hold her attention. She craved to do something interesting.

The loud ring of the phone made her jerk.

"Hello moley... what you are doing?" The softening sound of her mom fell like a chill breeze.

"Nothing much...I am getting bored..." Silence...Silence...

"Why you are bored? You could have continued with that job moley... achan is still upset over that... Rohit left for office?" Mom started to blame her for quitting a high profiled job.

"Ya...he went...Ok...Amma tell me something to do ...something interesting..."

"I don't know...whatever I say, you will find some mistake....I don't know" only mom can judge us too well.

"Hmmmm...." She felt depressed. Who will I ask? Usually mom has remedies for all problems...But now!

"Anu...are you there? What you are thinking? Did You have breakfast?"

"I had... Amma, don't you think of anything that I can start doing?" Her voice was more of pleading.

"Moley..I think you do Yoga. I think its good. here me and achan are daily going for Yoga classes at Art of Living centre".

The word Yoga hit the ears like the humming of mosquitoes. irritating. She wanted to yell at her mom. I don't want to do Yoga...for gods sake... It will be boring... I don't want to be bored again.

"Anu...why you are silent? Didn't you like? Achan is calling me... I will call later..OK"
OK...will talk later"

She could hear the beep...beep sound in her ears. She kept the receiver still on her eras...beep...beep..Tears started flooding. Oh!God, I am bored. In this world where a lot of things are happening.

She felt like pouring buckets of colored water on the white washed roof.She felt like climbing up the cupboard and close herself inside.

Tears.....More Tears....Sobs....Tears....

All of a sudden the world came to an end. A twirling pain at the belly. The roof was coming down. darkness filled her eyes. someone was choking her to death.

She puked.....all over the carpet and floor.

Tick...tick......time again limped..

She was drenched with sweat when opened her eyes. The giddiness was still overwhelming in her. But a kind of pleasure filled her heart.Like someone touching her with a soft feather....very soft....over her face.... she felt the warmth of motherhood spreading all over her body. The touch of life in her womb...A cry of joy... She could feel it.

Lying on the floor, just near the mess she herself has made, with the utmost happiness in the world, she realized that she has become a mother! The knocking of life in her womb!

Now...she has no time to get bored. The time wont be enough for her. She has to prepare herself ready...to welcome god's gift to the world...to this happening world...where sometimes boredom can lead to most exciting things!


  1. You rock man.. This post is certainly touching. Never expected the twist. I wish you get married to your soulmate and get busy in the same way..

  2. Thanks anu.. Looking forward for the day when I will get busy with my life in the same way :)

  3. Superb narration! I was not at all expecting that boredom might end with 'expecting'

  4. @Spicy sweet: Thanks a lot. certain things comes up in life when they are least expected ;)


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