It Is Easy To Let Go!

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“Am I bad?”, she asked in a shaky voice without looking at me. She was lying in the couch since last night and had been sobbing and ranting. I really didn’t know how to console her. It is true that she has been my roommate for almost two years but I am yet to understand her completely. 

It is not that she is mysterious or has hidden secrets. There is something unique about this girl that makes the guys drool over and girls envy. And here she is back from a night out, still in her stilettos and backless top, crying frantically over a heart break for the first time in her life.


“Misha, you please stop this blabbering and tell me exactly what happened?” I was getting anxious and irritated at the same time. I could understand that this was clearly about Amit, her boyfriend whom she was crazy about. And I could feel that something obnoxious must have happened between them last night.

“I don’t know why I screw up my life always. I think I am not worth living anymore. I feel filthy, tell me di, Am I bad?” she got up and took my hand in hers. I patted her hands and smiled. “Baby, fights are common in a relationship and I don’t have to advice you how to deal with it. So don’t create a scene over this. I know you had fought with Amit and that’s the reason for this holocaust, isn’t it? I asked in the softest tone possible. I wanted to end this soon so that I can go out on a date with my guy. And I didn’t want to screw up my day over her silly fight.

“It is not a silly squabble as you think. It is something grave. You know that I have been staying over at Amit’s place lately right?” she asked with a hint of guilt in her voice. Of course I knew that she has been at his house almost all weekends leaving me alone in the house. And I am not naive to believe that they were spending the night watching movie and talking.

“So, what happened? You had stayed there for many days isn’t it? Why this sudden guilty feeling?”

“No, it is not about feeling guilty, it is just that he found out about my ex and he is mad at me for that”, she said amidst tears.

“Oh come on, he already knew about Robin long before you guys started going around na? Why such a hullabaloo now?” My phone rang just when I finished the sentence and it was Nikhil. I surely didn’t want my boy friend to yell at me for being late. I cut the call and turned towards her.

She held the pillow close to her chest and tears were rolling down her face. I couldn’t leave her like this and go out. I know that she needed me the most. I looked into her eyes with anticipation. I hope she will spill the beans soon.

“Yes, he already knew about Robin, but not ..”, she said and gasped for breath before continuing,” but not that I had slept with him”, she finished the sentence and looked away.

God, that was news for me too. What all have this girl done! I never knew that she was sleeping around with guys whom she barely knew. She was surely not the slutty kind and she valued relations too. And how the hell did Amit find this out.

“Ok, this is something I didn’t know. Fine, tell me, how Amit came to know about this?”

“Robin told him yesterday and he confronted me. I had lied all this while telling that Robin was just a fling and we have never got physical”, she burst into tears.

I wanted to slap her hard. Because it was just two days back she told that she was serious about Amit and wanted to marry him. She should have told him the truth at least.

“Ok, listen, I think the damage is done. You stop crying and think if you really want Amit back. If yes, tell him the truth and beg for forgiveness. If his love is sincere, he will understand. Else just forget about this”, I looked into my mobile and there were five messages and three missed calls from Nikhil. I need to run now.

Misha was still crying and in between her sobs she was calling herself slut and bitch. I felt sad seeing this plight. Damage is done and she has to face it anyways. I patted her head and wiped tears from her face.

“Baby, I really gotta go now. Nikhil is waiting downstairs since half hour. I will be back in two hours soon after the movie ok? We will sort this out for sure, ok? Please stop crying. There is a solution for everything, trust me”. I had already reached the door. I could see that she was still crying.

All throughout the movie, I couldn’t stop thinking about Misha. I know she is really a caring and sweet person. This is just a mistake. That too she didn’t cheat on Amit, it was just a self protective lie. That’s all. I tried to justify her myself. I know that she was more than just a roommate for me. I couldn’t enjoy the movie wee bit but couldn’t disappoint Nikhil too.

During intermission, I dialled her number just to check if she was fine. She didn’t pick the call. And I tried calling her many times later. Even after one hour, she didn’t pick the call. For some reason I was panicked. What if she had done something stupid? She is that kind of girl who acts on her instincts without thinking. My body was shivering. I knew that she loved Amit and what if he rejected her even after apologizing.

“I think I have to get back home, please drop me back fast”, I said to Nikhil who was enjoying the climax of the movie. He was surprised hearing me.

“What happened baby? Not well? ”, he asked with concern.

“No, it’s Misha, she is not picking my call. It’s been two hours”, I was losing control of myself. And I had already told Nikhil about her situation.

“Stop being a paranoid di, she must have slept off”, he didn’t want to miss the climax.

“Please leave me at home. Please.”, I pleaded and being the most understanding boy friend, he dropped me back in minutes.

I ran to inside the house and found that the door has been locked. I didn’t take the spare keys since she was there. I knocked at the door frantically and rang the bell. No answer. My hands trembled. I felt guilty for leaving her alone. I should have realised that she is too sensitive and should have been with her.

I desperately tried her number once more.

“Hello... hello... sorry di, my mobile was inside my handbag and I didn’t hear it ring”, she was shouting from the other end. I could hear loud music beats.

“Where the hell are you”, I grinned my teeth.

“U know Divakar na, my colleague, he called me soon after you left, we are here at Marriots.” she was screaming.

“But what about Amit? Did u talk to him?”

“Oh we will talk about that later di. I need a break. I can’t hear properly. I will come after dinner, ok?”, she cut the call before I could say something.

Period.